How to Deal With Toxic People

Most of us have been unlucky enough to have experienced people in our lives who can only be described as toxic.

Whether they are the emotional vampire who literally drains you with their perpetual dramas, or self-obsessed bore who asks you how you are and then proceeds to tell you all about their day before you've had a chance to reply. You know that they didn't actually want to know how you are but needed some reason to start talking about their favourite subject - themselves.

In fact if, god forbid, you should actually try to tell them, they would end the conversation before you've even got the words out.

Let's face it - these people are tiring and high maintenance to have around as well as being very distracting in the workplace when you are trying to meet a deadline or work on an important project.

The question is, what can you do about it when you are on the receiving end?

Here are a few tips that should help:

Be prepared - As soon as they start making a beeline towards you or you pick up the phone to find them on the other end, tell them it's great to hear from them but you are extremely busy/just about to go into a meeting/or go out.

Check whether it's work related or urgent so that you can make the decision to prioritise your time, and if it's not urgent tell them you'll call them back later.

A friendly but firm approach used consistently will soon let them know that you are taking control of your time and that they should respect it.

Working in an open plan office can be a nightmare as the office drama queen often seems to think that you really need to hear about her latest date when you are snowed under with work and that she can interrupt whatever you are doing at the drop of a hat.

If you have colleagues who insist on uninvited socialising, you might find it helpful to take pre-emptive action:

Try wearing headphones or simply having a sign on your desk advising that you are not to be disturbed unless urgent. Letting your colleagues know you are trying to get more disciplined around your time management so you can be more productive is a good idea as it lets them know what to expect and guards against them taking offence.

If you have someone like this in your private life you need to be just as disciplined about your boundaries.

If it's not a two-way friendship where you both listen to each other, offer support when appropriate and respect each others' boundaries and values then maybe it's time to re-evaluate it.

If a relationship doesn't add to your life in some way do you really need to continue it? Life is short, time is precious and hanging out with people who don't put much effort into your friendship or don't value or respect you is not the best use of the time you have.

Every so often it is not a bad idea to do a little relationship audit where you can review what is working or not working, whether it can be improved and maybe more importantly, whether you want to improve it.

As a coach I firmly believe we have a right to be happy and make our lives as enjoyable as we can and since humans are sociable beings, the importance of who we hang out with and its impact on our happiness cannot be overestimated.

So go ahead - start claiming your power today and see how much better you feel! Providing useful self development, self empowerment and self esteem tips and reviews online.